Day 3 Affirmations: FEAR Refrain

Introduction

Fear is a natural human emotion that helps us to protect ourselves from danger. Fear can be triggered by a wide range of things, including heights, spiders, and public speaking. Fear is also closely connected with anxiety because both are caused by stress.
Two main theories exist about why we experience Fear:

• Fight Or Flight: Fear evolved as part of our fight-or-flight response; when faced with danger or threats, our bodies produce adrenaline which gives us extra energy to either fight back or run away as fast as possible
• Adverse Childhood Experiences: Fear has its roots in early childhood experiences – if we have been hurt before then this can lead us to expect similar events in the future.

The Only Way to Prove Fear is a Lie

Fear is a liar. It tells you that you’re not good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough. Fear tells you that you don’t deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your life.
Fear is a liar and the only way to prove it wrong is by facing your fears head-on.
Fear will tell you that if you take one step outside of your comfort zone then everything will fall apart–but what if it doesn’t? What if going outside of our comfort zones makes us stronger? What if taking action on our goals leads us closer than ever before? Take the risk. Face the fear and overcome it. This will set you up for courage next time around. Whether you win or learn, you move decisively.

Get Excited About Your Next Choice

The next step to overcoming fear is to get excited about your next choice. The more you can think about the choice in front of you, the less time you’ll spend worrying about future choices and situations.
For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, focus on your preparation, your outline, your cue cards, dressing, and showing up early. Know that those are the steps to engage intentionally prior to the presentation. Your next choice is not a future option. Your next choice is your presence of mind in the current moment, one step in front of the other. Your next thought in the here and now.

Choosing Based on Prediction of Outcome

Prediction does not require you to be a psychic. You don’t have to be able to predict the future. You just need to intentionally use your brain, which is designed to predict what will happen next. You naturally make choices based on predictions of outcomes. You explore facts, memories, and experiences and decide what you think will happen. The challenge is that negative experiences fuel the expectation of negative outcomes. In these cases, your brain is offering warnings and working against the primary function of prediction. Arrest the warnings and integrate them into the function of prediction. For example, if you have a public speaking opportunity and your fear grows, consider what you could improve upon to ensure that this attempt is more successful than the last. Rather than indulging the fear, you identify what supports the prediction of a positive outcome.

• Focus on what you want to happen.
• Gather data, integrate experiences, and make informed decisions about learning and preparation.
• Think through what you’re afraid of happening and discover what supports what you do want to happen.

Expect Limitations, but See Them as Markers Not Barriers

There are two main ways to approach events as markers not barriers. The first is to consider limitations as research opportunities that fuel experience rather than evidence of your identity or capability. That way, when you hit a limitation, you can take it in stride and move on without feeling discouraged or defeated. When you find difficulties, you know that you have identified areas to work on or areas where you need help.

The second way is to learn from your mistakes so that they don’t happen again! Smart people often credit their mistakes for getting them where they are today. Learning what not to do is almost better than learning what to do. The “right way” may change due to new technologies, social norms, or other constraining realities. Maturity is knowing that times, technology, and temperaments change. What remains unchanged is your will to succeed even as you evolve to meet challenges and learn from new perspectives.

Pride and Conceit Balanced with Gratitude

Pride and conceit are balanced with gratitude about how far you have come and commitment to build for the next generation.

Celebrate successes. When you achieve something, celebrate it! You deserve to feel proud of yourself for all the hard work that went into getting there. But don’t let your pride get in the way of acknowledging growth or looking ahead to future goals.

Look at yourself from an outside perspective. Think about what other people would say about you if they could see everything that makes up who you are: good qualities, bad qualities, strengths, and weaknesses–the whole package! This can help put things into perspective when it comes time for self-reflection.